The Politics of Being Me


20
Oct 11

Home From The Market | 7th at Fig 13Oct11

just a few things that made it home from the market…

Strawberries | Tomatoes | Pita | Hummus

The hummus didn’t make it home.  It wasn’t even good, but I was hungry.  All tahini-heavy without any garlic bite or acid kick, I should have just had fries or a(nother) pint of strawberries.  I have to stop spending money (♥: and time and energy) on things that I know probably won’t make me happy.  It’s like I keep taking the class, but have trouble implementing the lesson.  It’s time to be more mindful about planning ahead, especially since I prefer my own chickpea dip/spread.

Making the commitment to treat myself better emotionally, physically, intellectually and spiritually means that I have to pay much more attention to how I get fed and how I stay happy.

n♥

 


9
May 11

LAPL at Home | The Inevitable

i’ve got 29 books and 1 doc out on loan.  these are just a few of the books i’ve got at home.

This is obvious, isn’t it?  All the time I’ve spent at the farmers’ markets in the last year and a half falling in love with fruit after fruit and veg after veg.  Well, that and the thing with the chickens* and, um, getting weirded out about the pork fat in the freezer.

I’ve been moving in this direction.  Making a transition to a place I’ve been before, but I feel like I’m better informed this time around with plenty of resources at my fingertips.  I’m, also, able to give a shrug to some veg and vegan cookbooks, not feeling beholden to them just because.

Starting to dig in to the stack above.  The Asian Vegan Kitchen and The Tropical Vegan Kitchen are really giving me life right now.  You should see how excited I am flipping through The Tropical Vegan Kitchen and seeing my childhood on page after page.

N♥

Chicken: Exhibit A & B

 


18
Mar 11

OverLooked | My Hair & I♥Mario Badescu, HARDCORE

the things i’ve been looking the hardest for have been right under my nose at home.

I can’t believe that my new favorite conditioner has been in my house unused for ages.  Seriously.  It was a part of a gift set I was sent when I got nostalgic for my NYC skin care routine.  And it just sat there, on the shelf, in the medicine cabinet.

I stopped relaxing my hair six years ago and if I wasn’t into the whole “doing my hair” thing before, I like it less now.  I don’t hate my hair.  I love it.  Lots.  I feel my family in its textures and I see my mother in the most random of styles.  It’s just that the one thing I’ve hated since I could remember someone combing my hair was someone/anyone combing my hair.  Tenderheaded and full of tangles since birth, probably.

The whole washing and combing it out thing is the most stressful part of a four hour pain in the ass.  No More Tangles definitely took some of the bite out of the process, but still.  The thought of so much time from shower to last last wisp flat-ironed always had me putting it off for another day, okay, weekend.

I am so digging what the Badescu has done.  There was no tug-of-war fought, no wasteland of battle weary strands woven among the comb’s teeth destined for their place in the bathroom trash, my sanity tossed in right after.  Nope.  My hair is cotton candy soft with just a smidge of coconut oil to nourish and maintain the shine.  Man, I can’t keep my hands out of my it.

I’m freakishly excited by this belated discovery.  So excited and giddy and happy, in fact, that I’m afraid to continue reading the list of ingredients for fear that it’s got something in it I shouldn’t be using.  Lanolin oil, does that mess with estrogen or cause cancer?  Wait, don’t tell me.  Let me empty that sample-sized bottle first.

N♥


25
Jan 11

Evolution Of A Relationship | Cheese, Glorious Cheese

what i eat and how i see food changes…

gorgonzola | parmesan | sharp cheddar

Cheese constantly tests my will.  We’re so much better when we’re far, far apart.

I spent MLK weekend pet-sitting for P+K.  I consumed cheese and beer.  No, really.  I didn’t feel like dropping dough at Whole Foods because in a pinch my tastes tend toward a $6 pkg of capellini.  So, I played my version of Door Knock Dinners. (♥: Pls tell me you remember…)

It’s always interesting to see what someone else has in their pantry.  Things I normally wouldn’t or just can’t buy.   The cupboards seemed a bit bare this time around.  The freezer, though, that’s where I found myself.  Me and the Cheese.

I ended up eating Mac & Cheese from a box the first night and a risotto with black beans and turkey sausage, the next.  Everything Cheese.  Cheddar, Gorgonzola, Parm and more.  Cheese.

I hoped that when I got home, I could shake it.  I was sick.  Coughing from my toes.  Ridding myself of all types of things and still eating cheese.

Within days, I was at Trader Joes getting the Goat and shredded bits of Italy’s finest.  Pizza.  Four Cheese Ravioli with a tomato goat cheese sauce.

It’s funny that I’m fretting.  I know how to stop.  I worked it out a while ago.  But, there are times that going without makes me feel all deprived and brings back memories.  The ones growing up where we had Grape-Nuts and all that other not “fun” stuff.

How did I compensate for having another reason to feel different from everyone else?  Oh, I ate what we had.  All of it.  Colby, Wisconsin, New York & Vermont Cheddars, Havarti, Kraft Singles and Boursin when I could sneak it in the grocery cart.  Did I tell you about flying home from summer vacation one year with a 5lb block of Gov’t cheese? No? Yeah.

I’d eat warmed* cheese with a side of scrambled egg.  I’d nibble straight from the package or in chunks on stoned wheat thins.  Made grilled cheese sandwiches and cheesy grits with a splash of hot sauce.  My favorite cheesy rice turned into black beans and rice with sharp cheddar.  That morphed into my black bean and couscous dish.  There’s more, but I’m scaring myself.

I know me.  I know me and cheese.  I can make it work when I only bring home and cook with a few of those “help, I won’t make it to my next meal” snack packages.  Selection sucks, but I get the taste that I’m looking for without eating myself into another breakup.  But, I think we’ve gone past that this time.

So, yeah.  Cheese, sweetie.  We need to talk.

N♥

* I figured out one of those afternoons after school that I don’t really like eggs and used a lot of cheese to try to hide it.


22
Jan 11

On The Make | Beaded

learning to move from idea to completion… using frustration to help, not hinder…

I have a bracelet my mother made me when I was a little girl.  It was the mini to her many.  When I went off to college, I could still hear her walking up the stairs calling my name, arm full of trade bead bracelets jangling.  Even though she doesn’t wear them anymore, it’s still her.  Bracelets on the left, red pen in her right hand.  Mommy.

I have two bracelets, actually.  The one that belongs to elementary me and the one that I wore when I finally stopped caring if something looked “African” and I started looking different on purpose.  I haven’t worn it in ages.  A bead broke and there’s a link that comes undone.  I’ve been too, let’s call it distracted, to fix it.

I’ve been thinking about making jewelry, again.  It started a few months ago.  Thinking about things that would really work for me.  I’ve made stuff and worn it.  It’s all been fine, but I was never able to really get past the kinda *pursedlipsshrug* like to hardcore ♥.  I’ve been almost there, but never there there.

The thing is I hadn’t figured out what I wanted.  Um, done.  It’s like if Tom Binns hung out with Les Nubian in ’03, ate potato rotis in DC from West Indian carryouts and dreamed of Mississippi juke joints while cleaning houses in the Chicago suburbs in gear made by Rei, Yoji, Rick and the Belgians.  Oh, and with home movies and family photos taken by Andrew Dosunmu.

Yeah, that’s a lot.  And so am I.  I need to embrace it.

So, I’ve been playing with the idea of doing something with trade beads.  Just something simple.  When I was home last month, Mom offered some up.  A lot, really.  And they just came in the post. I’m so excited.  I want to make pieces that will build on what she gave me.  Build on my memories.

While I’m doing design research and sourcing materials for something new, I’m going to fix the link on my bracelet and probably replace that missing bead.

Starting somewhere.

N♥


17
Dec 10

HFTM | Pershing SQ 28Oct10

just a few things that made it home from the market… ages ago

So it’s kinda been on and popping at the Farmers’ Markets here in LA.  Between challenges to the size of the Hollywood Farmers’ Market by another local business and vendors at other markets accused of selling not so local or organic as claimed, the value and authenticity of the markets and their produce has come up for debate.

Me, I’m still in.  What started earlier this year as just something to do has become something I, just, do.  Even at the CubeFarm, people would come up to me and talk about market day.  My weekly bounty would be on display in the afternoon as I watched minutes on the clock and strawberries disappear.

But, I haven’t been to Pershing Sq since the end of October.  With the Ice Rink up and my time at the CubeFarm winding down, I’ve been glued to my desk and going to Hollywood on Sundays.

I’m so happy to be able to say that I’m SuperGrateful for the time I’ve spent going to Pershing SQ this year.  It’s been such an important experience in the evolution of my relationship with food.

Nikki♥

*One quick word about the CubeFarm. They really are a great group of people doing good work for the folks of LA Country.  So glad to have got the chance to spend more time with them this year.


14
Dec 10

Project Polyglot | Beyond Adorable In Portuguese

we’ve talked about this, right? the whole fluent in multiple languages thing?…


//via@diggswayne

This is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a while.  It’s from Black Orpheus.  I, so, need to put it back on the netflix/library list now that I’m deep into Project Polyglot and seem to have forgotten the entire movie.

The adorable kids are great and all, but they aren’t what got me super happy.  When I watched the clip, ads blocked the subtitles.  At some point I realized that I knew what they were saying.  I got all excited and giggly.  Then, lost it just as fast.  I fell back into English and needed the text on the screen to make sense of everything.

Still don’t recognize or understand every word, even in a child’s convo, but I’ve definitely come along way from being frustrated by and afraid of one of the most beautiful languages on the planet.

Come on.  Press play and dance with me.

Nikki♥


18
Oct 10

Oh, Just Go | Looking Back To Move Forward

something has kept me la-stuck and states-stuck… i’m trying to get all un-

waiting for the train back to paris

i so don't care that it's out of focus... i love them

Counting the days until I’m off.  The new passport is here.  The old one came back, too.  I’ve already started changing my seat on the flights.  Thinking about outfits and images.  Can you tell I’ve finally gotten excited?

This will be the first trip with the dslr.  I’m nervous.  I want to take in so much.  I was so timid and tentative when I was in France.  It was the first time shooting dig, I hadn’t read the manual and I didn’t want to look like a tourist.  Yeah, whatever.  It shows.  Over it.  Kinda.

I’m so glad to be able to have the immediacy of the dig.  Glad that I can work on getting better and learn more in the moment.  I doubt that I would have seen the growth from what I shot in Paris to what I’ve got from Montagnac if I hadn’t seen what was captured right away.  I’ve still got undeveloped rolls and disposable cameras with long gone photographs taken all over Europe.

I’m in prep mode now.  Feeding my shooter’s brain with images that captivate me and studying more about how to read and manipulate light.  I want to knowingly craft more photographs than have happy accidents.

I hadn’t looked at the stuff from France in a while.  I lost a lot in the Great Hard Drive Crash of ’06.  But, I notice so much from just these few old pictures.  So much of who I was and how I approached seeing and being seen.  I can’t wait to discover how much has changed and find out what’s left to conquer.

Nikki♥


5
Oct 10

Oh, Just Go | A Renewal

something has kept me la-stuck and states-stuck… i’m trying to get all un-


I carried around the pictures for my new passport for two weeks.  They sat at the bottom of my purse.  The drugstore cardstock packaging taking the weight of the day’s junk that traveled to and from work.  Occasionally, I’d sneak a peek at the woman who would look back at me for the next 10 years.  It’s like I needed to get used to seeing the Me that other people see, hoping that she really was as happy as she seemed.  I was in the post office putting the packet of info, expired passport, money and photos together when I couldn’t help but place the new pictures next to the old one sealed into the book of state-sanctioned memories.  I was a little surprised that I didn’t look that much different or older.

Here’s the thing: I’m a little embarrassed that my passport expired almost two years ago.  Yes, embarrassed.  It’s like one of my big “You Are So Stuck” signposts.  I guess maybe because the reasons I put it off are manufactured by fear, fear of things lost and being afraid of just letting go.  I’ve been fretting about the how much it cost and really didn’t want to turn in the old book to get the new.  You know, flipping through it reminded me that I’d been places.  Well, I forgot to copy the pages with those beloved “You Were In My Country” stamps and waiting made it cost more, duh.  Expedite, pls.

So, now, I’m counting the days.  Not ‘til I fly, fly, fly, but until I can follow the renewal process.  We’re leaving in a month and I’m a dork with a tracking number.

Nikki♥


17
Sep 10

Tigress’ Can Jam | Ohhh, Peaches (Sept)

summer summer fruit… it wouldn’t be summer without ‘em*

Have you ever had a conversation that really would be thought of as inappropriate if overheard?  Man, these peaches could’ve gotten me into lots of trouble.

September’s TCJ produce: Stone Fruit.  I picked peaches and lost my mind fairly quickly.  Umm, yeah.  Sorry, I only put up a super tiny batch because I couldn’t stop eating them.

Seriously, I went to the farmers’ market near work twice.  I went to two different grocery stores.  All had good local peaches.  All got EATEN.

They were these big, beautiful, ripe and juicy things that wanted to be spoken of in lush, seductive terms.  Smelling so light and sweet.  All that peachy-ness dancing on air, tempting me.  My guilty hands covered in nectar.

See what i mean?  They were the best kind of trouble.  So. Damn. Good.

At the office, they were so enticing that I wasn’t surprised only a few made it home.  When I tried to explain to a co-worker how amazing they were, he started looking around for HR.

They really were the perfect example of why eating seasonally and locally is so important, at least where taste is concerned.  I decided the few peaches I had left should get the simplest treatment possible.

Gently Gingered Peaches
Adapted from the basic peach recipe in Linda J Amendt’s  Blue Ribbon Preserves

Makes 2 Pints or 1 quart

2-3 lbs of firm, ripe, unblemished peaches
2 cups of water
¾ cup of sugar
4 cups of cold water
1 tablespoon of antioxidant crystals or ascorbic acid crystals (hey there fruit fresh)
Fresh ginger coin slice (1/8th in thick) (if using pints cut in half)

Rinse peaches in cool water.

Sterilize jars and lids.

In a 4 quart pan, combine the 2 cups of water and ginger with the sugar.  Stir until sugar is dissolved over med-high heat.  Once dissolved, turn the heat up and bring it to a boil.  Boil for 5 minutes.  Reduce heat to low, cover and keep syrup hot until needed.

In a large bowl, combine the 4 cups of cold water and antioxidant crystals.  Stir until the crystals are completely dissolved.

Peeling that peach: fill a pan about half full of water and bring it to a simmer.  Fill another large bowl with ice water.  Carefully lower the peaches a few at a time into the water for about 30 seconds.  Remove the peaches and get them into the ice bath for a minute or two.  Repeat the whole thing with the rest of your peaches.

Using a sharp paring knife, carefully skin them peaches.  Cut each peach in half and remove the pit.   Using a spoon, carefully remove the red stuff  from the center of the peaches.  Umm, this might take practice or a pitting spoon.  Mine didn’t look super pretty, more gutted.  But, whatever.

Place the halved fruit in the antioxidant solution.  Don’t leave longer than 20 minutes.  Remove the peaches from their “please-don’t-turn-mangy-colors” bath.  Rinse thoroughly and drain well.

Add peaches to the hot syrup.  Over medium heat, let the peaches cook for 3-4 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Remove the pan from the heat.

Add ¼ cup of hot syrup into each jar.  Pack the peaches, cut side down,  into the jars, leaving a ½ inch headspace.

So, ummm, I, apparently, stopped here thinking that was, you know, it. I covered the peaches and added the ginger to the jar.  Checked for air bubbles and processed in the hot water bath.

Well, that wasn’t it.  Here are the rest of Linda’s directions.  I’m about to eat my peaches that I put up and start over.

Place a sieve over a medium saucepan and line the sieve with 3-4 layers of clean, damp cheesecloth.  Strain the syrup through the cheesecloth.  Over med-high heat, quickly bring the syrup to a boil.  Remove the pan from the heat.

Ladle the hot syrup in to the jars, covering the peaches and leaving ½ inch headspace.  Using a bubble freer or a plastic knife, remove any trapped air bubbles.  Hold the jar up and check from the bottom for any air bubbles trapped under the fruit.  If necessary, add more syrup to maintain headspace.  Wipe the jar rims and triads with a clean, damp cloth.  Cover with hot lids and apply screw rings.  Process pint jars in water bath for 20 minutes, quart jars for 25 minutes.

I think the last step will stick now that I’ve typed it for you.  Woo-hoo.

TheNikkiBits: Well, you saw the reading comprehension part isn’t really my strong suit when it comes to recipes.  I kinda just want to finish.  Looks like I know what I’m having for brekkie in the am.  Wait, why did I just envision a bit of good vanilla ice cream volunteering to be the bed for that peach dream?  Oh, and I’ve already sipped a little of the syrup that was left over.  I can’t wait to get a little licka to go with it.  I might even try to rock a ginger peach soju cocktail this evening.  Mmmm…. Yeahh…

What’sNext: Back to the Farmers’ Market on Sunday to see if there are more yellow beauties to behold and be canned.

Nikki♥

*does anyone remember that commercial?

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes