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Hello, It’s Me…

I know.  I’ve been gone, again.  Popping in to quickly CanJam, then poof.  Only the randomness of my tweetstorm as evidence that I’m around, but only in 140 mode.

I have been writing.  Writing lots of different things.  Just not finishing.  I haven’t been able to put my head around the sentences and paragraphs that confound me.

I’ve been getting stuck on purpose.  Why am I writing what I’m writing?  Is outcome more important than getting it out?  I’m trying not to worry about what comes after.  Ehhh, I’m not there yet.

I’ve been big on the 4 Agreements this year.  I write them down everyday.  I’m working on keeping my word.  Being impeccable with it.  I just can’t seem to do it  with myself.  I’m the easiest and the first person to let down in a pinch, or hell, on the regular.

But this, R&C, is the place I can do whatever my heart and head desires.  They both need more attention paid.

So, I’m back.  If only to remind myself that I get joy from so many things and that Mommy taught me to share.

Nikki♥

I’m going to burn some incense now… Here’s Todd Rundgren & The Isley Brothers doing “Hello, It’s Me”

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Tigress’ Can Jam | Whole Churry Preserves (June)

ummm, that’s the way it’s supposed to be spelled.

Okay.  So I’ve been missing the Mid-Atlantic States a bit lately.  With Pressure Cooker out on dvd  and the new season of Top Chef in DC,  I was thinking about what makes the whole area from VA to PA feel like home.

In many ways, it’s just hearing people speak.  It amazes me how happy I get when I hear people with the super regional accents or the ones where the smallest thing will give them away.  I kind of even watch old episodes of Homicide and The Wire just to get a little taste of a place not far from where I grew up.

One of the mainstays of Go-Go, Little Benny, passed away recently.  Along with hip-hop, it was the music I heard in the halls and lunch rooms during school.  My eyes may have rolled a bit growing up, now it just makes me smile.

Watching old interviews and a Go-Go doc from the 80s made me cringe and wistful at the same time.  All these really super specific DC things come to the fore.  There is a way of saying words that end in -ry that is SOoooo home to me.  Really, it’s r and vowels, but whatever.   It’s like very becomes vuurry like in snow flurry, with a heavy emphasis on the urr.

So in honor of the DC Metro area (urrreeeuhhh), I made Whole Churry Preserves.

Whole Churry Preserves

Adapted  from Georgeanne Brennan’s The Glass Pantry

2 lbs of ripe sweet cherries

3/12 c of sugar

2 c water

Clean cherries.  Remove stems.  Pit by gently squeezing each cherry until the pit pops out.  {My fingers were stained such a lovely color last night.  Ahhh, but the red tint was all gone by morning.}  Add the sugar and water to a heavy bottomed non-reactive pot.   Stir occasionally for 5 or so minutes to allow sugar to dissolve.

Add cherries and bring to a boil.  Then, reduce to low heat and let simmer for 1 ¾ hours.  After 1 ½ hours, raise the temp to med-low.

Since cherries are low low low on the natural pectin totem pole, Georgeanne suggests a long slow cooking time to get them to the jell point.  She suggests starting to test after 45minutes.

Wash and sterilize jars.  When cherries are ready, remove from heat.  Skim and discard any foamy bits from the surface.  Ladle into jar.  Process for 10 minutes.

The NikkiBits: The recipe yields 4 pints.  I got ummm 2.  But that probably has more to do with my nibbling tendencies.  Mmmm, churries.  If I had any of that Amarretto from last month left, I’d have used a little of that, too.

What’sNext: You know I’ve been avoiding the pectin purchase.  That’s going to have to stop.  Hello.  What were my preserves like this morning?  Can you say loosey-goosey still sloshy?  Seriously, I’m heading to the store and we’ll tighten things up tonight.

It’s interesting to see my appreciation for fresh fruits and vegetables develop even more as our canning challenge continues.   It also makes me think more about growing up on the east coast and the obvious nature of eating seasonally.  I’ve got a fridge full of berries that I want to enjoy fresh and that I want to enjoy in different ways come fall.

Nikki♥

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Changes | Divining A Sumptuous Life

i’m dancing in my chair and trying to type.  i just need a dance break, then, maybe sleep.

something’s a little different around here…

My cousin, Ricci, popped back up here a bit ago after a long absence.  She got me thinking a lot about how I’ve been choosing to live my life.  I am discovering and embracing all the things that make my every day great.  It isn’t even something I think about in the moment.  I’m just following my gut, my heart, my head, my nose…

So, from her comment came the new R&C tagline.  Because I really am divining a sumptuous life all my own. (♥: Ummm, where are the Raf sneakers?)

I’m happy.  Giddy, goofy, smiley, lovingly, excitedly, joyously happy.

You know your joy is in your hands, right?

Nikki♥

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please, say that again…

something disturbed the groove. again.

The most amazing thing kinda happened.

I’ve been struggling with the idea of purpose.  Stuck between what once was and what should be.  Still a little off balance since the death of McQ.  Way too in touch with my emotions.  Kinda spinning.

I’ve noticed that these bits and pieces have been falling into place.  When Esthero wrote about the Martha Graham quote below, it was a bit overwhelming.  I knew I needed it, but was afraid it was the final call to action for a life to be lived.  To let go of all the excuses.  So, I stayed away from it for weeks.  Until tonight, as I share it with you.

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost.
The world will not have it.  It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression.
It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly to urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”
– from Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham

(via esthero in progress)

So, what does it answer for me?  How does it kinda change everything?  A guy called me vague and evasive, once.  Yeah, ummm, not ready to talk about it yet.

Nikki♥

{Even as I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, I was still afraid of what it meant.  What it all means and how to move forward.  I was so hesitant that I couldn’t even hit publish.  Hesitant to embrace what I knew, but couldn’t quite believe.

In some ways it feels like permission, you know.  Permission to really be who I’ve always been, yet afraid to allow others to see.  Who I’ve talked myself out of being by drowning out my own voice with everyone else’s thoughts.

So, what’s next?  Umm, if I do it right, you won’t really know. ♥}

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Awww, Thx Wednesday! | I♥Shebeen, Hardcore Edition

back down memory lane…

Bars close as quickly as they open in New York.  For some reason, I always thought Shebeen would just be there.

The last couple of years I was in the city, it was like a second home.  Really, the bench outside was the coolest place to watch the city go by.  202 Mott, btw Spring and Kenmare.  A random Nolita street where folks just lived.  It wasn’t hip central.  It just was.

Instead of whining about what used to be (♥: You really have been doing that for a while), I want to celebrate having found something special.

Rob posted his last live set at raeo.net.  I’ve got more pictures in my Shebeen flickr set.  These are all from 2005.  I’d just stated shooting on a little dig point and shoot.  I’m really glad the camera was always out.

backgammon with rob
I adored Taryn and Dalia. Thank you for bringing a bit of S.Africa to the city.
I think I see glasses. Was that a Feltron night?
anna and ummm, me?
while trying to decide what to order in, we hung out in the smoking room.
Pete

On one of the nights Rob was spinning, I heard Prefuse 73 for the first time.  It was one of those musical detours that opened up a whole new world of sound and space.

I always figured there would be that spot where we could pick up where we left off when I got back to the city.  Alas, the bar is gone.  The memories aren’t.

I’ve do believe I’ve figured out my Ode to Shebeen Summers.  Instead of the drinking Strawberry Balsamic Martinis, I’ll be making lots of Strawberry Balsamic Jam.

Thx, Wednesday!

Nikki♥

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Bye, Bye Birdie | VSK:Simple Stock

i knew it was coming.  you should have, too.

I’m back off the bird. (♥: Ummm, okay.)

I bought a whole chicken the other day and my stomach just started to turn as soon as I got it home.  I think it might have been looking at those little legs all trussed up.  I ate it, but with a heavy heart and closed eyes.  The next morning, I threw what was left of the new bird and the frozen bones of the last one in the trash.

I love the taste of a homemade chicken stock.  My word, it is amazing.  The drippings from a freshly roasted… Mmmm.  I might even miss it at some point, but the process is really not something I’m feeling right now.  Flesh and bone.  Bleech. 

Time to create a chicken-free stock arsenal.

I picked up Bryant Terry‘s Vegan Soul Kitchen a while ago.  I can’t believe that this is the first time I’m actually cooking from it.  Especially, since my brother and I had a bit of a row over the premise.  He thought that by making it vegan, you take the soul out of it.  Love him, hardcore, but he is WRONG.  That kind of thinking keeps our arteries clogged and “Tha Shuga” running/ruining the show.

Its sad that the resistance to change is on both sides and isn’t new.  The idea of making food that is familiar, but healthier caused a bit of a dust-up with a macro friend.   He’s from South and grew up on some goooood food, but he believes that to eat healthier, folks should just dump everything they know and eat tree/sea bark.  Verbatim, no.  Sentiment, mmmm hmmm.  We keep people isolated by not giving them options and opportunities for making better choices.

I’ll admit that I am opinionated.  I used to be such a label whore that I branded everything I didn’t eat evil.  Thankfully, I’m over that.  I do remain steadfast in the belief that we need to eat better.   The things is… we don’t all have to be vegan or vegetarian.  Or eat tofu and tempeh.  But, we can do simple things to expand our palates and imaginations.

Simple Stock
from Bryant Terry’s Vegan Soul Kitchen

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 large onions, quartered with skin
1 large carrot, thinly sliced
4 celery ribs, thinly sliced
8 oz button mushrooms, sliced
1 whole garlic bulb, unpeeled, broken up, flatten w/back of a knife
2 bay leaves
3 sprigs of fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon course sea salt
1/8 teaspoon of cayenne
9 cups of water

Over med-high heat, warm the olive oil.  Add herbs, spices and vegetables.  Sauté until veggies have softened.  Add water.  Bring it to a boil.  Reduce heat to med-low.  Simmer uncovered for about an hour.  Strain vegetables from stock.  Don’t forget to press down on the veggies to get all that goodness out.  Then, discard the cooked vegetables.  Yields 1 1/2 quarts.

The Nikki Bits: I added a couple of dried chili peppers as well.  My veggies weren’t super tender after an hour.  I let it cook for another 30 or so minutes.  And I added 2 more cups of water.

Ummmm… So: I liked it a lot.  I didn’t expect to mimic chicken broth, so I wasn’t disappointed.  I don’t know if it’s a catchall stock for me, though.  Even though it’s light, it feels hearty, woodsy and strong.  It might overpower the flavors that I normally work with.

I had a cup with a few of spoonfuls of brown rice and a smidge of sriracha.  Throw in some veggies, steamed/roasted/whatever.  Hello, Winter!  It’s , also, a GREAT base for gravy.

What’s next: I make this black bean & couscous dish that I rock with that chicken water.  It didn’t really work well with this stock, but Bryant has a garlic broth that might be PERFECTION for that dish.  Arsenal.

I don’t begrudge anyone, or myself, meat or poultry.  I’m just bored and a bit turned off, right now.  That could change.  I’m superexcited to focus on bringing an abundance of flavor, color and texture onto my plate.

Nikki♥

Oh, I just finished some turkey breast that was in the freezer.  Ummm.  Bye, bye Bigger Bird.

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Sweet Little Lies

more like a sincere miscalculation.

I’m not back, yet.  So, instead of telling more sweet lies or making miscalculations, let’s just say I will be soon-ish.  Until then, watch a little Fleetwood Mac.

Nikki♥

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Things We Keep | Come, Lelee Lelee

i don’t really collect things.  i just seem to keep the same kinds of things.

I don’t know why I like them.  Or why I get goofy and call them Lelees.  But, I kinda like elephants.  I’m liking them enough to want keep some around.

The first elephants I remember buying are in AllHailsQueenMommy’s living room.  It was a family of 4.  Mother and children.  I bought them from a guy selling his wares at the base of the Eiffel Tower.  It was the last night of spring break and they caught my attention.  Wooden Lelees carved by hand.  I’ll show them to you next time I head home.

This one↑.  I think I’m going to want to take with me whenever I move.  I had the choice of two apartments in my building.  They were right across from each other.  The door knocker chose for me.

It’s still early going for me and the elephants.  I like the idea of collecting.  I just don’t know if I’m cut out for the work of it.  Maybe, I’ll just let myself think it’s random when I notice multiples of anything.

Are you a random keeper or do you passionately collect?

Nikki♥

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Awww, Thx Wednesday! | The Mall Edition

taking the time to make note of a few things that make the days extra sweet.

All I could think about on the way home was a little cod, couscous, onions and tomatoes.  Mmmmm.  So good.

Ventured out to The Mall today.  Seriously, I’ve been planning to go for ages and always let it go awry.  I’m so glad I let today just happen.  It filled my Wednesday with surprises!

I saw the sign and just had to have a Cinnabon.  Umm, I guess? *shoulder shrug central*  So not the big deal I used to think they were.  It’s crazy that so many things are kinda blah now.  Maybe because I can actually make and bake things that really tickle my taste buds.

Popped over to Target.  I couldn’t believe they still had a few pieces from the Liberty of London for Target collection.  I stood and stared at the rain boots that were 3 sizes too small for a few minutes.  Mmmm, pretty.

Instead of pining, I decide to run through my Hunter wellie color choices.  I’m thinking multiple pairs.  Thx, Jan + Feb.  Tony! Toni! Tone! lied. It never stopped raining in Southern California.

I was doing my best ANTM poses in the dressing room feeling Trés BadAss when this song came on.  Things got all movie montage inspired.  I went from catalog to couture faster than you can say André Leon Talley.

I’m still on a bit of a pop culture fast cleanse, so I didn’t know what the song was or who was singing it.  Oddly,  I waited until I got home to try to find out. (♥: It never crossed your mind to use your phone?) Apparently, no.

I think the best part of today’s shopping was what I realized about me.  I liked it.  A lot.  Even when I walked out of a store empty handed or things didn’t fit.  It wasn’t that big of a deal.

I bought things I never would have.  Hello, striped shirt from H&M.  Or broke the “I live in LA.  No more black clothes” rule.  It didn’t matter.  I bought the black dress and black tunic because I fell in LOVE and they look killah on me.  Oh, Mojo.  I’ve missed you.

Thx so much, Wednesday!  I hope she’s been as good to you!

Nikki♥